The homebirth of frankie banks

JUNE 2023

I know a lot of us love reading birth stories & how important it is in empowering yourself for a homebirth.

So here is the long but empowering story of my 2nd homebirth with another ‘big’ baby.

Background: 4.55kg first baby in 2020 born at home. 16ish hours from start to birth. Needed a little help to be born from my midwife & I had been pushing for 2 hours or so. Cord was clamped when baby didn’t breath soon enough (didn’t breath for 54 seconds). Had synto for placenta. Small second degree tear.

PREGNANCY:

My first 20 weeks of pregnancy were spent in the Netherlands.I had a dating scan & a 20 week scan. I had some midwife appointments (homebirth is ‘free’ in NL, as are the scans — important to clarify that private health insurance is quite expensive and is also mandatory for everyone).

When we decided to return to Australia we had to quickly choose a midwife. We knew we’d have no money but a hospital birth was out of the question - we didn’t even know for sure where we’d be living so even if it wasn’t too late, I wouldn’t have had much luck getting into a hospital homebirth program. But I also had a 4.55kg homebirthed baby in 2020 so knew they’d probably give me unwanted issues anyway.

We did a zoom with MAMA whilst in NL & chose them. We’d figure the money out later. Eventually, to prevent having to apply for a bank loan, a friend (who we’ll be forever grateful to) loaned us the money.

Pregnancy this time was strange in that I knew what I wanted and knew some of the challenges to expect. Despite some unrealised fear around my capacity to birth a baby by myself, I was confident that I wanted to birth at home. I was very glad to easily decline the GDT (something that I experienced pushback with in my first pregnancy).

At approx 30ish weeks (can’t remember sorry!) I went to have a scan JUST to check the location of the placenta. Literally nothing else. The sonographer was shooketh. Made it a lot more dramatic than it had to be. Insisted that she call the obstetrician to get permission to ONLY scan for the placenta. Made me feel extremely guilty. Told me that she wouldn’t feel comfortable only scanning for the placenta in case something was wrong with my baby…wanted to do a ‘wellness’ scan (which is….?). Anyway. She ended up doing just the placenta & at her request, HR (checking her phone for a response from the obstetrician multiple times).

I finished up with work at 38 weeks (I’m a nurse). Fully expecting to go to at least 41 (my first was 41+5).

Had some anxieties around who would be present at the labour/birth. But had some comfort that I had a fantastic student midwife & my husband that would certainly both be there.

LABOUR:

On my EDD, I thought MAYBE I’d be one of the 5ish % when my waters ‘popped’ after going to the toilet at 4am (my waters didn’t break till I was in active labour with my first & I was in the pool so didn’t feel it).

My EDD came and went, as I frustratingly kept a pad in to keep catching the fluid. It wasn’t a heap but enough that it couldn’t be anything else. We know our bodies right? I hated this feeling that I had a clock on me, knowing that after 72 hours I’d have to sign AMA to not go to hospital.

I really enjoyed and was reassured reading stories of women who went over this 72 hours 🙏🏼

40+1 after a midwife appt in the evening, I felt ‘something’ had changed. I had no ache or pains, but something felt ‘different’. I went to bed & at midnightish woke up with a contraction.

Hooray, the ‘quicker’ second labour was here!!!

I went downstairs, eager to not disturb my 3 year old or husband & just hung out downstairs. Wasn’t able to sleep because of the contractions. At some pointed I started timing them. In my first labour, they were also quite irregular even at the end.

Around 5am I woke my husband up. 6am called the midwife & my friend (to come get my 3 year old son when she woke up).

The space I had planned to labour in was BRIGHT! I laboured throughout the night with my first, a day time labour was not something I anticipated.

I spent quite a bit of time downstairs curtains closed with a hoody on & the hood over my face to block out light. Earphones in.

I ended up going upstairs to our bedroom where in the only space around the bed, my husband put a chair and the yoga ball. Nothing else fit 😅 I had the heater on high & was next to the bathroom door so if I needed cold air, I’d swing the door open.

I rocked against the back of the chair (damaging a little of the wall throughout the day) all day. Using the TENS too.

At some point I did try the shower but i couldn’t get ‘comfortable’ at all.

I’m not sure times but at some point in mid afternoon my midwife & student midwife came. My student midwife was fantastic. My hips were hurting & she was able to apply pressure to them & teach my husband to do so too (although he sucked at this 😅). My midwife and husband went downstairs to fill up the pool at some point.

I’m not sure how long I spent in the pool. I was nervous to use it as with my first it slowed things down, and after already being in labour for X amount of time, I didn’t want that to happen again.

I used a mop bucket to squat on last time, this time I was able to upgrade thanks to MAMA loaning me a birth stool (never found the toilet low enough & toilets are often in tight places).

The rest becomes a bit blurry. The pool was great but the contractions were strong. I remember asking if I could push because it felt like I was sucking the baby in, not letting him out. Whether it was ‘too soon’ or not. I was 100% in charge. At some point the midwives switched over. My then primary & secondary midwives sat on the couch. I remember it being quiet a part from my obvious loudness. Exactly how I wanted it 🙂

Lots and lots of position changes. The pushing helped but as I had declined all VE’s & asked for them not to be offered, the mind game of ‘where TF is this baby’ began. Also to note, I had asked for extremely minimal Doppler use. I think the Doppler was only used once or twice with my consent.

I used a towel to bite down on at times & a rebozo to do tug-of-war with my husband whilst I was in the pool. I used the birth stool whilst leaning against the dining table. To be honest, everything felt extraordinarily intense. Is that how it felt the first time? Thanks Mother Nature.

I did a VE myself & was elated to feel baby’s head/hair. How fucking cool is that. I think this was the boost I needed. Baby WAS coming.

After this, I moved to the pool. I hadn’t been set on a waterbirth. They’re beautiful of course, but as my 1st was born on the kitchen floor, I didn’t really mind.

Pushing & pushing. Time seemed to stop. If you’d told me I was pushing for 3 hours I would’ve believed you. I kept thinking about ‘the ring of fire’. For some reason my brain couldn’t remember or wasn’t going to remind me when this happens. Of course it’s logical now but in the moment I was so confused 😂 and then those stretch receptors 🙃🥲 “it’s only stretch receptors”.

And then there was hair, scalp, head. I couldn’t believe no one was touching me as I felt him rotate. What a weird feeling. Then the shoulders & there he was at 6:45pm, 4.61kg, grabbing him from between my legs in the water…I hope I never forget it.

I had made up my mind that I’d wait 60 mins or so for the placenta. But after 5 minutes, I was already pushing it out in the pool.

My friend coincidentally brought my other son home around 7pm, whilst I was still in the pool.

With plenty of help, I went and layed on the couch placenta still attached. And an hour or so later we clamped and cut the cord - it still bled a little!!!!!

1st degree tear.

I’m so happy to have had this healing birth, one that I didn’t even know I needed. Even though it was technically longer than my first at around 18ish hours 🥴 & he was even slightly heavier.

I did it!!!

I wish the same for all mums. If all women experienced such empowerment…imagine.